my hearts dream

when i was little i dreamed about being a bride. i would dress up and imagine every little detail.  into my older years i was obsessed with watching Say Yes to the Dress or Who's Wedding is it Anyways?  i imagined that someday it would be my turn to wear the beautiful dress.  have a huge party all for me.  it would be my turn to be valued and adored, known and loved, treasured and beautiful.

it's crazy to think that right now i am planning that day.  however, that day looks much different in real life than it does in my little girl fairytale.  dont get me wrong it will be a fairytale day for me, but it will not be because i am wearing a white dress or having a huge party that is all about me.  it is because i get to stand up next to my best friend.  the man that my parents have been praying for, the man i had dreamed of meeting.  i get to stand next to him and say "I DO."  not just "I DO" to taking care of K, respecting him, loving him, serving him (these are all important, dont get me wrong!)... but i get to say "I DO" to partnering with him for the rest of my life in sharing the Gospel.  the one thing that has guided our relationship and will continue to guide our marriage.  i can't put into words how much excitement and joy it brings me to think about where the Lord will lead us together for Him in the future!

i love to think about how the Lord has placed this dream of a wedding on my heart.  he has drawn me into him and shown me more of how he loves me through my engagement and relationship with K.  my Lord knows me intimately, he knew that he would be able to reach me through my little girl dream.  show me that HE is enough.  that HE adores me, values me, celebrates me, treasures me, knows me, and loves me.

...on that note, only 98 more days until i get to stand next to my best friend and say
  I DO. We'll GO. Lord send US, together for your KINGDOM.

a picture is worth a thousand words

no words can describe my love for 834.

my amazing best friends.

 oh, and i am excited to be this man's WIFE!

blog barf

blog barf- extremely random unedited thoughts from my head thrown into a blog post
    
i am back. no guarantees that i will be back for long, but for a little while i am back.
my life has consisted of school, wedding plans, work, friends, and cleaning (living on your own is hard work).  this semester has been so different than any other semester.  i dont have any of by best friends down the hall (for the first time in 2 years).  i dont even have them close.  i am learning that as you get older friendships take more and more effort.  its not a bad thing, just that we have less time to see each other and a greater longing to spend time together leaving us with two options: 1) find time and be intentional with each other (never had to schedule my friends before) OR 2) just stop seeing each other all together... that is NOT an option.  
things are different, that means change. i have never been a fan of change. i am learning that the Lord uses change in our lives to grow us into people who reflect His character more and more each changing day and as much as i dislike change, i want to know His character more.  i want Him to teach and lead and grow me. i think that is going to be a theme of my year as i continue to experience big HUGE life changes in the next 5 months.  so here i am ready and so excited to embrace CHANGE.  
i wont leave you with more scattered thoughts, although i know there are some in my head... dont worry they will come on the next blog barf day.